Dirty emotional laundry

Like a bad smell that just won't go away...

WIP: "Weighted (Carolina Wren)" Detail image,
Oil, 18 x 24

The current painting on my easel is the same one that has been off and on it since April. I don’t usually have a negative “emotional” response to my paintings but with this one I do.  Don’t get me wrong I love all the pieces I create and my favorite piece is always the one that I am currently working on. Normally when I look at a piece that I have created it conjures up a piece of music that I listened to frequently while working on the piece but more often than not it will bring the story back that I was listening to  when I see the painting or drawing.

The painting in question is the painting that I started back in March and used as my demo piece at my gallery exhibit. Not many people know it but I was very sick while in Oklahoma this year and I did my best to hide it and move forward with the opening and demo. It’s funny how you will work extremely hard for months preparing for a major event and all of a sudden the week before you leave members of your family start getting sick. The “Red Flag” immediately went up and I basically quarantined myself from the family as much as anyone can. My wife 4 days before I left found out that she had the Flu and I got worried and started taking whatever I needed to take to safeguard against getting the flu myself.

The morning to leave for Oklahoma was upon me and I was still feeling fine and I thought to myself “Yes” I dodged it! Nope...... I got to Arkansas that night and started to not feel very well and by the time I got to my friends Jan & James house in Oklahoma I was feeling terrible. What was I to do but push forward and persevere. Jan and I had made plans to go to the Oklahoma City Zoo so I could get some reference of the Scissor-tailed Flycatchers they have and I didn’t want to miss out on that.

The next day I was feeling even worse and I can remember sitting in Jan and James’s kitchen working on my demo piece getting it ready and thinking to myself, “man I just want to go lay down.” I must have been running a fever because as I am sitting there drawing out the under drawing I was sweating like crazy and I thought it was funny that here I am pushing through, mopping my forehead every 15 mins and Jan takes a picture of me working and posts it on Facebook. Dedication or ignorance?

Anyway because I was not on the top of my game and not able to think clearly while at the opening and demo this painting has come to represent a moment in time that I wish I had had the ability to do better which is completely silly but nevertheless it has been hanging out in my studio lingering like an awful smell that just won't go away.

Now that I have aired my “dirty emotional laundry” I can happily say that the stink that this particular painting  has had is now gone and I am in the process of finishing the piece. As you can see above  the background and foreground are pretty much done except for some final tweaking and I basically just need to paint the second layer of color on the bird.